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Pinings: I thought it was love
by
Sherry Hughes
Dear Pinings,
In the last year, I’ve been with a lot of different guys. I really thought at the time that I loved each one of them. I know now that I was just getting used for sex and that men say anything they can to get what they want. I’ve now met Jason and I think he’s different from the rest. He’s very respectful and has taken me to meet his parents. We are getting serious and I want to know if I should tell him about the guys I’ve been with. I want him to be honest with me. So, do I get this out in the open now or wait until later?
Jason says he’s not a “player” and hasn’t dated that much. I’m afraid he’ll run away if I tell him the truth.
Shelly
Dear Shelly,
Slow down. I admire your desire to be honest with Jason, but you are putting the cart before the horse. Honesty is important — as is trust. You need to see if Jason is someone you can trust and is going to be a part of your life for a while before you blurt out your dating history. In any case, I wouldn’t name names or give out numbers. You can tell him, “There was a time when I was confused about men and dated many dishonest guys. I’m not ashamed of anything I did because I learned a lot.”
And leave it at that. Sometimes men want to know the magic number. But when they get that number, they use it as a weapon. That information doesn’t have to be part of your relationship with him.
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