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Pinings: Torn
by Sherry Hughes sah103@hotmail.com
Dear Sherry,
I?m in love with two men. Stu has been my boyfriend for 9 years. We met our junior year in high school. He knows me better than anyone. We have a little boy who is 3. Stu is a good father and a really nice guy.
I met Greg at work. He is handsome and sexy and I don?t know how it happened, but we just started spending more and more time together. We haven?t done anything wrong, but I don?t know how much longer I can hold out. Stu would be crushed if he knew I felt this way. He has noticed that I?ve been preoccupied lately and wants to know what?s wrong.
I feel as if maybe I settled down with Stu too soon and that I haven?t lived enough. I know Greg feels the same way about me that I feel about him ? and he would love for us to have a future together.
I don?t know what to do.
Torn
Dear Torn,
I?m a big believer in finishing one thing before you start another. You say you haven?t done anything wrong, but I wonder if you would feel OK if Stu was having a relationship with a woman like the one you are having with Greg. The truth is, you are being emotionally unfaithful. And you are being dishonest about it too.
I don?t know how valuable my advice will be, but what I think you should do is work on the relationship you are in. See if you can rekindle the flame you once had with Stu. He is the father of your child and from all you tell me, a great guy. Greg is what we think of as the ?greener pasture? ?and the truth of the matter is that the grass is rarely greener, we just think (and hope) it is.
You might also consider some therapy, just go help you get through what is undoubtedly a difficult time. .
Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com
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