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June 29, 2006
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Pinings: Lets get it on Dear Pinings, I?m in a relationship now with a really nice lady we?ll call Christa. She and I don?t live together but we are together most of the time when we aren?t working. I?ve never been unfaithful to her and things are going well except for our sex life. Our sex life was hot for a long time. We had lots of sex and it was really good sex and I thought I had died and gone to heaven ? at last, a woman who I could be compatible with in all areas. Well, guess what? The sex has started to drop off. She is no longer the sexy babe she was when we started dating. Her interest in sex is secondary to ? everything else. She wants to watch TV or do housework or talk on the phone. We haven?t had sex in the shower, which we used to do a lot, in months. And she tells me I?m pressuring her, which she says ruins the mood for her. Now I?m afraid to break up with her because of this because once again, my friends will accuse me of being fickle or running away when things aren?t perfect. I really don?t want to be that kind of man. But this stuff (women who change who they are once they?ve got the guy) isn?t honest or fair. Signed, Dear Sad, You may not consider yourself fickle, but you sure seem, well, fickle-ish. Anyone can have lots of good sex, but it takes a grown-up to stay in a relationship and learn how to communicate in other ways, especially when the excitement is waning. A couple of thoughts for you: If you just want to have a sexual relationship, you should find someone who feels the same way you do. Love relationships involve emotional intimacy, commitment and connectedness, which then produce satisfying sexual relationships. I?m not saying you can?t have one without the other. But if you are looking for one, don?t confuse it with the other. The other thing I want to tell you is to stop worrying so much about what your friends think. They don?t have to live your life, you do. Take in what they have to say and if you hear the same theme over and over, you might want to pay attention. But you don?t have to. Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com Comments??Thoughts? Discuss this article and more at hippoflea.com |
 
06/22/2006 A dubious proposition
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