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September 21, 2006
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Pinings: Baby daddy Dear Pinings, I’m really mad that he is leaving our son and has no plans to see him anytime soon. He says that I need to trust him; that he’s not just going to abandon Jarred (our son) but I don’t know if I can. Also, what about child support? He’s been really sporadic about that, too. I don’t want to be a screaming bitch about this but what am I going to tell my son? And when do I ever get a break? I never felt like I could just pick up and leave — because I wanted my son to always be close to his father. Dear Anna, Since you are clearly the more responsible parent, you are going to have to put this in the most positive light you can for your son’s sake. I don’t think you should lie, but I don’t think you should give him the impression that his father is abandoning him either. At 4, he won’t understand that. At 14 he won’t either. Get your ex involved in the conversation if you can. Let him know that it’s his responsibility to talk to his son. Tell him that the very least he can do is to explain to Jarred what’s happening. And it’s time for you to go to court and secure child support. It is your son’s father’s job to support his child. Unless you are in a position to take care of him without any help, financially, from your ex, and don’t want any, you owe it to your son. This isn’t about being vindictive or pissy. It’s about taking care of him. You never know what the future holds. Maybe your ex will prosper in his new environs and send you checks regularly. But maybe he won’t. And you may fall on hard times, too. And if I were you, I’d be sure you have a legal document in place that states that primary custody for Jarred is with you. You want to be sure that your ex can’t fly your son out to see him and then end up in some legal wrangling about when he will return. Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com Comments? Thoughts? Discuss this article and more at hippoflea.com |
09/14/2006 Dollars and sense
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