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Pinings: A little recognition please?
by Sherry Hughes sah103@hotmail.com
Dear Pinings,
A letter came via e-mail last week from a friend who was married last summer. She said she was in the midst of writing thank-you notes and was sorry it was taking so long. She also said if we hadn’t gotten a thank-you note in the next month or so, we should let her know. She said she was taking a long time because she wanted to really let all of us know how much she appreciated our friendship and love. She also said that we shouldn’t feel hurt if she didn’t mention the gift because she really wanted to focus on our support and what we mean to her.
I think this is ridiculous. I never got a thank-you for the shower gift I sent (I live eight hours away) and now, five months after the wedding, I haven’t received a thank you for that gift. We went out of our way to take time off from work, drive there and stay in a hotel in order to attend the wedding. I don’t expect a medal. But is it too much to expect a thank-you note somewhere in the month or two after the event?
Steamed
Dear Steamed,
No, it isn’t too much to ask. Your friend needs some serious lessons in manners. Somewhere down the line, the doyens of manners, Emily Post or someone, said it was OK to take up to a year to send either a gift or a thank you for a gift, I’m not sure which. Well, that rule stuck in people’s minds and has become the ultimate way to be a slacker when it comes to a wedding.
It’s a nice thing to send a shower gift if you can’t attend the shower, but not necessary. Thank you notes should have arrived much sooner. It was the ultimate in rudeness to ask people to let her know if they hadn’t received a thank you note. And to not mention a gift in a thank-you note? Well, I suspect she didn’t keep track of who gave them what.
Count your blessings. This is an opportunity for you to learn — about manners, friendship and expectations.
Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com
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