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March 1, 2007
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Pinings: What tangled webs Dear Sherry, I met this guy, just talking, and before I knew it we exchanged phone numbers and have been non-stop since. It sounds like no big deal, but here is where it gets dicey. I have no commitments to the guy I was dating, we are not exclusive. I do have some to myself — such as my integrity and my honesty. I was not honest with this guy in the beginning about my age or my size. It didn’t matter because he was just some “fantasy.” I kept the lie going because I really enjoyed how I felt talking to him, we clicked so well. Here it is a month later and about 1000+ hours of talk time and thousands of text messages and I love him, he loves me, too — but not really. It’s based on a lie. I never thought something so silly and mute could be so painful. I need to end it and there is no easy way it seems. The truth is so painful to say; it’s like telling him the woman you love doesn’t exist, even though I’m real. I do love this guy, Sherry. I know its crazy but I really do. It’s his love that’s not real since it’s based on fiction.What do I do? Say? Is there any way to make this right? Oh yeah, he thinks I’m thin; I’m not. And he thinks I’m 29 and I’m 38. He’s 21. I know, it’s bad. Messed up in Manchester Dear Messed Up You know what you need to do. I think you just want a push in the right direction. You need to tell this cyberbeau that you aren’t who you said you are. If you want, you can even send him a picture of yourself. You never know, he might not be telling you the truth either. Regardless, you need to clean up your side of the street. That’s all you can do. I don’t see a lot of potential in a relationship based on lies and the age difference is significant. Ask for his forgiveness and let him know that it was just a fantasy for you and you really didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt. And be sure to say you are sorry. And “I’m sorry” doesn’t mean anything if there is no action behind it. Try to be sure this doesn’t happen again. Also, consider this a learning experience. You feel awful and you were dishonest with someone, but all in all, you got off easy. You have no idea who this guy is or what he is capable of. It could have been a lot worse. Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com |
2/15/2007 A little recognition please
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