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Pinings: Congratulations?!?
by Sherry Hughes sah103@hotmail.com
Dear Sherry,
Hey, good news!
When someone tells you they are pregnant, what is the correct response? A gal who works with me is pregnant but not married. We aren’t sure if she even has a boyfriend. She isn’t very forthcoming with information and none of us want to ask her outright who the father is.
Should we ask? Should we throw her a shower? She seems happy about the baby and is now wearing maternity clothes. We are pretty sure she lives alone. We aren’t unfriendly or anything but she works in an area where no one sees her very much so no one knows her well.
What if she’s giving up the baby for adoption? What if she isn’t really happy but we just think she is?
The Gang
Dear Gang,
I think a shower is a lovely idea. If she’s alone, she’ll need all the help she can get. Even if she’s with the father, she’ll still need all the help she can get.
First, pick someone from your group of workers to go over and ask her if she would welcome a shower. Tell her you all want to know her better and show some support, so you’d like to host a small gathering. If she’s amenable to the idea, ask her if there is anything she needs in particular or if she needs everything. She might even know the sex of the baby, which will help. Then, start planning.
Have the shower at work if you can, maybe on your lunch hour, and make it a potluck with a cake. You can all chip in for a nice gift or gift card to a baby store or you can perhaps buy a diaper pail and fill it with things she’ll need.
If there isn’t a good place at work, maybe one of you can host the party at your home on a weekend.
If you guys are moms, you know how challenging pregnancy and childbirth can be, not to mention everything that comes later. It’ll be a very nice gesture to throw her a shower.
Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com
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