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Pinings: E-lationships
by Sherry Hughes sah103@hotmail.com
Dear Pinings,
I started a relationship with a guy I’ll call Bill. I’ve known him for a long time, but only on the Internet and phone. We wrote and talked almost every day but after a while, I realized that he wasn’t good about e-mailing on the weekends, which made me think he was married. I asked him and he said no, absolutely not, he was single.
He did spend a lot of time on the phone with me, so I believed him.
About a month ago, he stopped all contact for almost a week. He said he was out of town on business, but I think he’s lying. He’s never mentioned traveling for business and also, why wouldn’t he have access to the Internet or his cell phone?
When I confronted him this time, he got very angry and said that if I didn’t trust him completely, we were finished. And he never answered my questions.
I said fine, and we haven’t spoken since.
The problem is that I really miss him. It wasn’t like any other relationship I ever had. I’m tempted to call him or write to him just to see how he’s doing, but I’m afraid he will be mad and hang up.
Ticely
Dear Ticely,
When you get attached to someone, for whatever reason, there is a void when they are gone. Since you never actually met this man, a big piece of your relationship was missing. He could be 50 years older than you think he is. He could be married, engaged, living with someone or the father of 13 children. He could be unemployed. He could be a criminal, an alcoholic, a drug dealer or a drug addict.
What you probably miss is the attention, the contact, the thrill of getting to know someone.
You can find that again, but I’m going to suggest that you look for someone who you can meet in person at some point and know sitting face to face. There’s nothing wrong with Internet dating but the reality is often different from the fantasy people create online.
Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers at sah103@hotmail.com
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