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By
Bruce Bressack
11/13/2003
Boomers
Mutual Fund portfolios are spilling from their "holsters", and the words "I'm-Here-To-Help-You" are embroidered on their designer Tee-Shirts.
Needless to say, they look really, really scary, so I cross the street, and they follow me into the Enron Building.
And there, in a dim, smoke-filled room, is Ken Lay dancing in a ballet costume [ouch!].
Actually, it turned out to be Elton John dressed in a duck suit [singing Tiny Dancer].
So I say, "Elton, what's up with that"? And Elton says, "If you quack like a Duck once in awhile, the world will beat a path to your door".
Well, that sounds like "real wisdom" to me, and I feel strangely emboldened.
So I confront the stock brokers and say, "You don't scare me, I have no worries, 'cause I'm fully vested in my Enron Retirement Plan......so take that you mother-duckers".
Then I wake up (I think?).
And there, in 'ceremonial garb', is Timothy Leary uttering his 'herb-induced mantra' - "Turn on, tune in, drop out".
He makes it sound like a hell of a "good plan", and definitely worth trying......especially if you're going nowhere fast and want to destroy your life one pill at a time.
And then my life flashes in front of me.......punctuated by an unrequited dream or two.
Then I wake up (I think?).
And there, in a black tux, is Sinatra asking me if I have any regrets. And I sing, "Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention"...
And Frank smiles.
Well, I gotta go now. The phone's been ringing off the hook.
No problem, it's just my stock broker....he wanted to know if I saw the guy on the news this morning dressed in a duck suit.
And the Universe smiles.
Bruce Bressack is a singer-songwriter, producer and freelance writer currently living in New England. He’s a 52 year old baby-boomer, ex-Yuppie, ex-New Yorker, guitar-slingin’, piano-slappin’, finally ‘retired’, television tube lover...
Bruce Bressack can be reached at bbressack@hippopress.com
