Why Should I Choose the Register of Deeds?

By Jeffrey R. DeRego
HippoPress.com


Pimary day, what an amazing wonderful expression of our truly astounding democracy. I came, I saw, I bought the t-shirt, as did untold thousands of others. As I stood in the voting booth, permanent marker in hand, and stared at the list of candidates and coveted positions I came to the realization that I had no idea who any of these people were or what they wanted to do if and when elected.

What in the hell is a Register of Deeds, and why does someone want this job?

I am relatively certain that other voters feel the same sense of complete and utter disconnected confusion on primary day. Sure, we all know the names of the people running for Governor, and a fair number of us can even place the candidate with their chosen party should it become necessary, but this does not an informed voter make.

Okay, I know Jeanne Shaheen is a Democrat, and that she proclaimed Jenna Lewis Day, and that she has some plan to solve the educational funding crisis. She does have a plan to solve the educational funding crisis doesn't she? Someone? Anyone?

I also know that Mark Fernald is a Democrat, and he couldn't pin Jeanne Shaheen down for a debate no matter what he did. This doesn't even touch the Republican side...

And this is my point. Considering the fact that the size of the New Hampshire legislative body is only just under the population of India, there is no way anyone can keep track of the state and local candidates and their positions (when and if they are stated) unless they make a full time job of it.

I already have a full-time job, thank you very much.

I am pretty sure I did a disservice to New Hampshire by casting my ballot in ignorance. Why put me and thousands of others like me through the self esteem lowering, guilt inducing, labor of futility in the first place?

Why not choose the legislators of New Hampshire by lottery instead. This way no one has to take the blame for electing, “that idiot!” whoever he or she may be. Drawings of state-issued drivers' license numbers could determine who next will serve as County Commissioner, Register of Probate, State Senator, or Governor.

This would keep the confusion level leading up to position appointments low as no one would need to erect red, white, and blue campaign signs. No one would have to buy radio attack adds, or costly television spots. Perhaps more important, none of us would have to see or listen to them.

Since no one would actually campaign for a position as public servant, the chance for big business and special interests to buy a candidate lock, stock and barrel is over. Sure, this would put a lot of editorial writers out of a job, but they could always do temp work on an assembly line.

Winners of the government lottery would be required to serve full-time, though their pre-public service employer would be required to hold whatever the winner’s previous position was until they return to the private sector.

Is this sounding good to anyone yet?

Of course, some regulation of the “winners” would be necessary to keep the system running smoothly. These rules would be simple, and easy to remember.

1. You only get one shot. This means that each winner serves a two-year term and that is it. Once their term is up they cannot be entered into the lottery for 10 years. Sort of like jury duty.

2. You gotta show up. Also like jury duty, winners would be required to show up for all legislative sessions and votes, save for unforeseen emergencies like a death in the family.

3. You gotta talk to your constituents. If the winner doesn't meet with at least 10 constituents per month, then they are found in contempt of the people and pay a hefty fine.

4. You gotta do your best. No campaigns means no campaign promises, so pledging to do your best with the two years is mandatory.

Failure of the winners to perform appointed duties will be known as being “in contempt of the people” and result in a $5,000 fine. A second contempt charge results in jail time, with a length the same as the remainder of the term in question.

The way I see it, everyone should have a chance to serve their state in one way or another, be that as Governor, or Cemetery Commissioner. So why not give everyone the chance to serve?

A system like this opens public service to all financial brackets of the state population. Imagine a group of low income people taking seats in the State House? Imagine a 20-year-old unwed mother in the Governor’s office. Imagine senior citizens, gay people, atheists, fundamentalist Christians and handicapped people all working to solve the state’s problems together instead of fighting amongst themselves over who best represents them based on empty campaign promises.

Finally, a government of the people and for the people, and I wouldn’t have to feel guilty for electing them.

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