Pinings — Advice by Sherry Hughes

Any Way To Return To 'Just Friends'? 

Dear Pinings,

I work with a bunch of people who I really like. I’m friends with a few of them and we go out sometimes on the weekends. I hooked up with one guy one night after we had all been out. It wasn’t exactly meaningless … but I don’t want to be his girlfriend or anything.

The problem now is that every time we go out, he hits on me … like we are going to end up in bed again. I don’t want to be a jerk to him, but he’s really bugging me. At work, it’s all good because we aren’t in the same department. We see each other at lunch and stuff, but the only time he comes on to me is when we are out on the weekend, you know, after we’ve all had a few drinks.

What can I say to him to keep him as a friend but to let him know that I don’t want to have sex with him again?

- Karin

Dear Karin,

Honesty is the best policy. Say to him, “We had a nice time and it was really fun, but I’d like to just leave it at that, OK? Let’s be friends and hang out together, but I really don’t want anything more than that to happen again.”

And after you say that to him (preferably at a time when no one is drinking) be sure you stick to it. That means no mixed signals (like flirting or dirty dancing or pretend jealousy or possessiveness when he’s with another woman) and sticking to your guns.

The situation could be a lot worse than it is. Consider it a learning experience.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Reach her at sah103@hotmail.com