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Hippo Manchester
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Pinings: Bad Breaks Dear Sherry, My sister-in-law (well, technically, my girlfriend?s sister) came to live with us four months ago. We are really close to her and I like her a lot, but the living situation isn?t working out for me. She ran into a series of bad breaks ? she was laid off from her job and then had to have major surgery ? in the spring, so she was really struggling to make ends meet. We offered her a temporary place to stay, which I still think was the right thing to do, but she hasn?t lifted a finger to do anything to get out of the situation she is in. She?s relatively healthy now and able to work, but she hasn?t really even looked for a job. Because of that (and because of some enormous medical bills) she has no money to offer us for rent, food or anything. Our lives have changed dramatically since she moved in. And my girlfriend and I disagree about what to do with her. She thinks we should just wait a while and be supportive and loving and she?ll come around. I think she is taking advantage of us and needs to be read the riot act. Even if she just cooked dinner every once in awhile, I?d be happy. But she does nothing. I don?t want to risk losing my relationship to this, but I am starting to feel a lot of anger toward my girlfriend. - Edward Dear Edward, I?m on your side. You and your girlfriend need to present a united front here. Your ?sister-in-law? may or may not be taking advantage. She may be depressed. She may just be lazy. No matter, she needs to start to take action and the only way that?s likely to happen is if you push her to start being more responsible. Sit down with your partner and discuss what will and won?t work for both of you (maybe she can take on some household chores, like laundry or cooking) and present your list to her. This isn?t about kicking her out on the street; it?s about helping her to help herself and keeping your relationship out of harm?s way. Suggest counseling too, if you haven?t already ?she?s been through a series of life-altering events and she might benefit from help from a professional. Sherry Hughes welcomes e-mails from readers. Contact her via e-mail at sah103@hotmail.com. |
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