Pinings — Advice by Sherry Hughes

Our Pal Al...

Dear Pinings,

One of the women I work with is really in love with her boyfriend, Al. I agree that he’s quite a catch; he seems to be really nice, she says he’s good to her and he has a good job. The problem? He’s also my boyfriend. He and I hooked up after we met one day when he came in here to see her. He called me and it was … magic. He’s not really my “boyfriend,” I guess, because she is the one he spends all his time with … but I know he really cares for me. He comes over to my apartment a few times a week and I know that there’s no way he’s having the same kind of hot sex with her that he’s having with me.

He says that I’m way better in bed than she is.

I don’t want to hurt her feelings but I’m tired of just sitting there quietly while she goes on and on about him. I told him he had to choose and he said he couldn’t; he wants to be with both of us.

- Margie

Dear Margie,

Oh, it’s really tough to know where to begin. I’m going to give it to you straight from the hip, okay? You, my dear, are being used. Al is interested in having sex with you, but that’s it. If he wanted anything else, he’d make it be something else.

One piece of advice I found very helpful in my life was to always pay more attention to what people do as opposed to what they say. Stop believing everything he says and watch what he’s doing. Al has the best of both worlds. He’s telling you he can’t choose, but of course he can. His girlfriend is the innocent victim of two deceitful people, one of whom she loves and trusts. Telling her what’s going on would only make you feel better, and frankly, would be a cruel thing to do.

And be careful what you wish for; if he leaves his girlfriend to be with you, you are then with a man who you know is a cheater.

And one more thing: If you aren’t already practicing safe sex, start now.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Reach her at sah103@hotmail.com