Pinings — Advice by Sherry Hughes

At The Women's Expo...

Last Saturday, I was fortunate enough to spend the day at the Women’s Expo in Manchester in the Hippo booth, meeting our readers and handing out papers. Thanks to everyone who stopped by and said hello; truly, I had a blast.

When the publisher asked me to attend, the purpose was to meet with readers, but also to give out advice to anyone who asked. Although only a few people asked for advice, several asked how I come up with the answers I give readers. If you aren’t a longtime Hippo reader, you just may wonder about my qualifications for the column. I thought this might be a good time to cover that territory again; in a way, to reintroduce myself to you.

When this column was first proposed, it was going to be a sex column. Although I’m not shy about sex, I wasn’t sure I wanted to write about that exclusively. Relationship advice, ahhhhhhhh — that was right up my alley. I don’t always know what a relationship should look like, but I’m always sure what it shouldn’t look like.

The bottom line is that I’ve been around the block — my block and yours, most likely. I’ve been in lots of relationships — with men and with women. I’ve been in happy ones and very dysfunctional ones. There’s been abuse in my life in all of its sordid forms. I’ve pined for those I loved who didn’t love me back and I’ve been the one to leave someone behind. I’ve never done any stalking, but I’ve been plenty angry, plenty hurt and at a loss as to how to deal with it. And I managed to live through it.

I was an active alcoholic and drug addict for most of my teens, all of my 20s and the first couple of years of my 30s, so if that’s an issue for you, I might be of some help — I’ve been clean for almost 12 years.

I’ve lived in New Hampshire all of my life so far and I grew up in a home that was different from all of them around me — my mother is black and my father is white. I grew up knowing prejudice. Sadly, I still know it pretty well.

So, I have some life experience to bring to the table, and I’m a chatty sort, so this works out well. I’ll always tell you what I think — even if it stings a little — and I always refer folks to the professionals if the situation warrants.

I’m also a good cook, so if you are looking for a good recipe or ideas for a potluck, you can write to me about that as well.

Sherry Hughes welcomes letters from readers. Reach her at sah103@hotmail.com