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Coldplay
Ghost Stories (Atlantic Records)

05/29/14
By Eric Saeger news@hippopress.com



Coldplay, Ghost Stories (Atlantic Records)

Not that it isn’t supposed to be part of my job description in the first place, but I haven’t peeked to gauge critical consensus on Coldplay in years now, so it was gratifying to find that basically the entire hack world has always agreed with my insults and has actually crafted better ones over the years. Regarding Ghost Stories, one NME blogger stated that Coldplay is the British answer to Nickelback — that was a good one. You probably know the backstory of this sad collection of unhappy-faced nonsense: Gwyneth doesn’t heart Chris anymore, so it’s an album of depressing lovelorn tunes, and Timbaland helps out with the most soulful one (“True Love”). It’s not a terrible album; there’s even some quiet dubstep on it, but it’s not worthy of a band of this stature — really, if the Milky Way galaxy held a planetary battle of the bands that spelled death for all the losers, and Coldplay was our representative, I for one would be deeply examining my faith, especially given the tune “Magic,” whose almost-awesome prog-house vibe suddenly stops to turn the thing into a hooty Bon Iver mope-along. It’s not for hipsters, teens, or aging U2 rockers — maybe soccer parents can use this junk as background while contemplating the ramifications of their favorite professional sports team not making the playoffs? It’s that deep, seriously. D+ — Eric W. Saeger





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