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Hanzel und Gretyl, Black Forest Metal (Metropolis Records)




Hanzel und Gretyl, Black Forest Metal (Metropolis Records)
CD Reviews: January 1, 2015

01/01/15
By Eric Saeger news@hippopress.com



Hanzel und Gretyl, Black Forest Metal (Metropolis Records)
Now I know why I never took this New York-based industrial-jackboot-stomp duo seriously. No, scratch that, I knew why I didn’t take them seriously — I just wasn’t sure how bad they’d get, but I don’t think even I expected them to get this bad. Let’s rewind a little here, back to when they started, sending out an all-genre, five-language spray-and-pray to the record companies, whereupon, they claim, one of the major labels (i.e. Warner Bros, EMI, etc.) said they’d sign them if they sang in English. I don’t believe that for a second, but whatever, their early stuff was a goth-punk cyber-frenzy of clanking doom, which usually pleases me, or at least the old me, the one who had that goth phase, you may recall, around the mid-Aughts. So now, they’re sucking up to the black-metal patrol, to go by the album title, but forget that, this is just slow-poke Prong with less music and more unintentional camp. Bash, stomp, bash, “I am the KYZRWOLF,” they bellow in one of these loony tunes, in between orchestral snippets of Prokofiev’s Peter and the Wolf. If you think about it, the problem with all this is that there are people who will make babies to this music, not knowing any better. And that’s how the world will end. C+Eric W. Saeger





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