If you thought USB flash drives came in lots of crazy shapes, you ain’t seen nothing yet. The creative canvas gets bigger with USB hubs, so the craziness comes out even more.
If this design were as clever as it looked at first glance, each segment of the caterpillar would be detachable and have its own USB port on it. You could then add segments and ports to your heart’s desire! Alas, it is cheap and has only four ports, as well as the terrifying glowing red eyes that all too many USB animals have. Not to mention sharp, triangular teeth. At least it comes in yellow, blue, green or orange. Still — teeth. Best bargain: SourcingMap.com, $4.99
Oh, how nice, no scary devil eyes on this cow. It has that metal ring thing in its nose I usually associate with (male) bulls rather than (female) cows, but it moos when you attach it to the computer so we won’t nitpick here. There’s a purple one, a yellow one, brown, white, blue and OH GOD WHERE ARE ITS LEGS?? YOU PLUG USB DEVICES INTO THE SHINY CHROME STUMPS WHERE LEGS SHOULD BE. ANOTHER VICTIM OF HEARTLESS FACTORY FARMING. Or maybe it’s a pirate cow. Serves you right, nasty pirate. Best bargain: BestOfferBuy, $3.90
Since actual animals are too traumatic, maybe a dead animal turned into food will be okay. Like this very convincing-looking chicken burger. Remove the top of the bun, complete with sesame seeds, and there are four widely-spaced ports stuck in the lettuce. Can a KFC Double Down hub be far off? That would have eight ports. Best bargain: Brando.com, $19
Christmas in July is coming, you know. There are many designs of Santa USB hubs, but the real prize is the one that lights up. Just like the real Santa, the USB hub blinks red, green and blue from a bulb inside his legs, illuminating his entire body from within. Best bargain: DealExtreme.com, $4.79
Retro punks rejoice! While this cassette offers neither inferior sound nor unreasonable vulnerability to hot glove compartments, it does look just like that mix tape of Tears for Fears and Richard Marx that totally should’ve convinced Mandy that she liked you after all, not that you care after 25 years. The ribbon reels spin and everything. Best bargain: PerpetualKid.com, $14.99
Another lost opportunity here. Folks: it’s a train. Trains add and subtract cars all the time! Stick a port on the back and let us buy additional cars with additional ports! I need to find me a fabrication shop and sell these things myself. Best bargain: USBFever.com, $19.99
Now this is cute. Some sites bill it as the Wall-E style, which it really isn’t, but it does sorta look like the robot that might result if Wall-E and Eve had a baby robot. If robots reproduced that way. Oh, heck, those two were so cute together of course they’d have an adorable robot baby. Best bargain: Dillyeo.com, $6.99