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Skid Row, Rise Of The Damnation Army – United World Rebellion: Chapter Two (Megaforce Records)




Skid Row, Rise Of The Damnation Army – United World Rebellion: Chapter Two (Megaforce Records)
CD Reviews: 8/6/2014

08/07/14
By Eric Saeger news@hippopress.com



 You can take the band out of corporate rock, but you can’t take the corporate rock out of the band, as we learn with this new EP from the New Jersey hair-metal crew once fronted by an androgynous lunkhead who changed his name to that of one of history’s most famous composers. I refer, of course, to Sebastien Bach, who got himself fired from the band in 1996 after having the gall to insist that they open up a Kiss show on New Years Eve instead of allowing Skid Row’s tin-pot leader/guitarist Rachel Bolan to “focus” on his punk-rock side band, which, I assume, sucked out loud. No, I’m serious, they really want us to believe that the conversation went like this: Sebastien: “If we open this Kiss show, we may get a temporary boost in old record sales and have some awesome fun!” Bolan: “Fiddlesticks! I must focus on writing timeless punk rock, which requires days to write one clever lyrical line!” And on we go, if you’re done thinking about that; now focus on this new EP, which is, as I said, an EP and not an LP, because Bolan’s diabolical plan to “deal with the current music landscape” (read: “Will the kids think we’re cool if we, um, uh…”) is to release short bursts of precisely the same breed of disposable faux-speed-metal that made the band famous, “instead of being tied down to an LP for a year.” I’d almost find that irreverent or something if the songs weren’t so dated and uneventful, but they are, and so I, like you, can only weep at the fall of these liverwurst-brained heroes. C- Eric W. Saeger

 





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